Wednesday, November 3, 2010

there's no doubt in my mind

I'm at the point now that I feel sick to my stomach almost all the time. It's guilt, I guess... even though everyone (including myself) tells me I have nothing to be guilty about. I feel so bad for him. I don't want to have to take away the 1 thing he has. But is it my fault? No. I gave him everything. Chance after chance. My time.

I think it's butterflies in my stomach, but not the good kind today. I'm sorry I couldn't change him. But if I could've changed him, wouldn't I still basically still be here? A different blog title, but here all the same? Blogging and being sick and wanting out? Probably.

Nobody said it was easy
no one ever said it would be so hard. ~Coldplay

So frickin true. I wish I had a magic wand right about now.

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