Thursday, November 4, 2010

breaking up is hard to do? No shit.

So last night I had ANOTHER talk with him... not really meaning to, but I was crying when I got home from work and he asked why. And I said I was sad because of him and that I am moving out. So he of course broke down in a major way and cried and begged and said all sorts of things, but I was v. strong & said "I HAVE to leave. HAVE to. For me" etc. And it was so terrible and it went on for like 2+ hrs and he said "There's nothing I can do or say, is there?" and I said no. But it was so hard and I have never cried so hard in my life. :( just sobbed for hours and hours. So finally I said "I can't talk about this anymore, let's just forget it please" and then I ate supper and we were ok.

So... I need help. I am going to need to move out when he's not there. For sure. I can't physically do it when he's there.. all I can do is sit and cry.

My eyes are sooooooo puffy today. ugh. I'm so exhausted.


  1. My first advice was to make sure you knew about Syd's blog but I see you already are reading his blog.

    Second if I were you would be to take a moment to inventory your support system. I've never gone through this, wife and I are wroking on 34 years and were high school sweethearts. But I can imagine the pain must be really rough and I'd want to make sure I had support, friends, relatives, parents etc to help not only physically to move but to support you emotionally. Strength lies in being strong inside not whether you can lift a refrigerator.

  2. I was following Syd's blog, but I hadn't read it yet. So I started reading last night. Thanks for the tip.