So last night I had ANOTHER talk with him... not really meaning to, but I was crying when I got home from work and he asked why. And I said I was sad because of him and that I am moving out. So he of course broke down in a major way and cried and begged and said all sorts of things, but I was v. strong & said "I HAVE to leave. HAVE to. For me" etc. And it was so terrible and it went on for like 2+ hrs and he said "There's nothing I can do or say, is there?" and I said no. But it was so hard and I have never cried so hard in my life. :( just sobbed for hours and hours. So finally I said "I can't talk about this anymore, let's just forget it please" and then I ate supper and we were ok.
So... I need help. I am going to need to move out when he's not there. For sure. I can't physically do it when he's there.. all I can do is sit and cry.
My eyes are sooooooo puffy today. ugh. I'm so exhausted.