The second red flag I had with my alc. happened before we lived together. We had a deep conversation in the car one night. I had told him something pretty important to me. The next night on the phone, I mentioned this tidbit. He said "What?? You didn't tell me that!" I was immediately shocked... "WHAT??" I asked, "of course I told you. Last night." "No, you did not!" and it went on like this for some time. He fought me HARD to prove that I had never told him anything of the sort. He had absolutely NO recollection of me telling him. At first I thought I had gone absolutely crazy. Was it possible I hadn't told him?? Why on earth didn't he remember?? It was so weird.
Now, of course, I know that he had been so drunk that he blacked out. No memory whatsoever. And I hadn't even known he was drunk.
As our relationship went on, I realized something very sad - almost all of the memories we were making together were mine and mine alone.