Thursday, October 21, 2010

Red Flags are for Bulls

Hello. My name is _____ and I am living with an alcoholic. We’ve been dating for a few years and living together almost as long. I’m starting this blog because I’m at my lowest point yet .. and I don’t have anyone I can really, truly talk to. I’m trying this instead of counseling, I suppose. So I hope it works! ha.

There were red flags. I’d be lying if I said I had no idea going into this that there were some issues. A couple of times before I moved in, there was a quick shimmer of something in the back of my head… a tickle. I should have paid more attention to it. But I needed somewhere to live, it was all kind of exciting and hey - it was a nice apartment. Oh and I loved him.

The first red flag was when I had been over to visit him at his place (before I moved in.) He lived there with his younger sister. I brought over a 2.6 of vodka. A 2.6 is something that would probably last me 6-8 months. Or more. So I was investing my money in something I thought I would enjoy for the better part of a year. I had several drinks and left my bottle there when I went home that night.

2 or 3 days later, I was back there again. I was talking to him and looked over his shoulder towards his recycling pile. My EMPTY 2.6 of vodka sat near the top of the pile. I was too shocked to talk for a second. Finally I forced out, “My- my- oh my GOD. Is that MY vodka?????????????” He didn’t even have to look over at the pile. “Yes.” he replied… with only a half a cup of shame. “DID YOU DRINK IT ALL? Who had it???” He said “I did.” “ALONE?” “yeah.” I was quiet for a while. Finally I said, “Do you have a problem or something” (half joking.) His reply is something I still think about to this day. He said, without a pause, “Maybe.” If I had had half a brain… one ounce of reasoning, a bit of intelligence, I would have smiled, ended the night and never seen him again. Unfortunately, back in 2006 and the age of 27, I didn’t have any of those things. I kind of laughed off his response and turned back toward the TV.

Worse yet, it was Silent Sam vodka. That shit's expensive.

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