For 2 weeks now, I’ve slowly begun getting rid of a bunch of my stuff (clothes, books, etc.) I want it to be easy to pack when/(if?) the time comes. The more crap I get rid of, the easier it’ll be to pack up & go. I’m going to work on that more tonight.
The last time I tried breaking up with him was a year and a half ago. I seriously can’t believe it’s been that long. Secretely I had feelings for someone else, which is what gave me the courage that day to bring it up. I said “I’m not happy with you. I want to break up. I am not happy.” And he cried. And begged. Stormed around crying. Begged more. etcetc. Made promises. Cried a bit more. Unfortunately, I’m not strong enough to look at someone I love and say “Too bad. See ya.” So I said I would stay for another week. And then things got comfortable again and time passed and now here I am. A year and a half later.
I brought home a bunch of boxes a couple of days ago. I will need them, and also I thought it would be a good icebreaker. “Hey - look at these boxes!! Aren’t they daunting!?” But they sat by the front door unmoved and unmentioned until last night. He moved them. When I got home from work I said “Did you move my boxes?” He said he did. I asked if he knew what they were there for. He stared at me sadly. I said “For moving out.” And his face was sad… but atleast he didn’t beg and cry. We went about our regular evening. Even had a nap together. Things are peaceful now. Calm before the storm? Oh, I’m sure of it. I just hope that this time, he lets me go. I need him to let me go